Through New Eyes
by Jennlover
Summary: What if Annie had a sister? What is it like living with the mad girl from District 4? How is Finnick around the girl he loves & what happened at 13 when Katniss wasn't around? Read to find out! Like it. Read it. Fav it. Comment.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _I sigh & stride to the large door. Opening it, I find a very winded Finnick standing in the doorway. I look at him & pause to take him all in. He had his regular shorts & baggy brown shirt on, with his golden hair tousled, looking like he had just rolled out of bed & ran over here. He tries looking over & around me while panting, "Is Annie here? I really need to talk to her…"

I roll my eyes. Of course after his absence for nearly 2 months now he wouldn't even bother with saying a hello or how are you? Haven't even heard from him, or had a sign he was even alive. Instead of staying here to be with my sister, the person he claims to be the love of his life, he'd rather go visit the Capitol to sell his body to every women willing, leaving my sister behind who has now fallen ill. Suddenly I snapped, all of my anger spilling out of me. "Why the hell would I ever let you even speak to her? One day you're here, filling her mind with ideas of getting married & being happy together, & the next you skip out of the District & are flirting with every women you find willing in the Capitol, showing off your pretty face, your big muscles, & following their every wish & command? You didn't even tell her you were leaving! She thought you had changed your mind, didn't want her any more like she wasn't good enough, or pretty enough for you. You ran, you left her, & I know exactly why. It's because she's sick! She's sick & you can't handle that! You think it's that easy? To just disappear for so long & come back & expect everything to just be fine? That she'd even want to speak to you again? If it were that easy do you think I would do the same? It hurts me just as it hurts you but I can't run away, because if I did, then I would be just like you! And who would she have then? No one! Because no one she cares about can even stand to see her this way!" My voice is so shrill, even to my own ears. I feel the rage that was blinding me fade & I could barely even stand to look at him. I had been so angry with him for the longest time. Leaving her in the dust, & taking her heart with him as he did so.

My words hit him hard, I could see that it his eyes. His beautiful deep sea green eyes. He dropped his head in shame. Surely he couldn't have expected for everything to be the same. Nothing is that easy. Maybe I had gone a little too hard on him. I was right though, I had known that from the moment he had left. Seeing her like this, hollow & lost, like an empty bottle drifting through the cold, dark & violent sea. Looking at her gave an ache in my chest, & a tug at my stomach. After she had won the Hunger Games, she was never the same. But none of us were; how could you be? Unlike both Finnick & Annie, I was never a tribute in the vicious & gory battle that the Capitol forces upon us each year, but sometimes I wish I was. I wish that I had been there for her – to take her place & save her. Then maybe I would have been the crazy one, or maybe I would have died. That almost seemed like the better fate than this life of depression & mourning for my sister to be back with me, to be happy & smiling like she used to. Now she rarely smiles, & I only see that when she's wrapped tightly in Finnick's arms. I know that he really loves her, & that like me, he would do anything for her. The feeling of guilt washes over me as I watch his shamed face. "She's sick you know." He turned up his head & looked at me. "She has the flu, but she's recovering quickly." I nod my head to the door & walk him inside the large mansion that every victor receives after surviving the Games.

That was the last time I had talked to Finnick up until now. Only a week later Annie had recovered from her sickness & was more talkative than ever, probably since she had finally been spending time with him once again. We were sitting in the living room & talking while waiting for the mandatory announcements. We both knew that this would be the day they would announce the 3rd Quarter Quell, yet neither of us said it out loud. I wonder what horrific nightmare they would be staging this year. In the 2nd Quarter Quell they forced twice the tributes to battle to the death, making an exciting show for all the people sick enough to enjoy the terrifying violence & devastation. Every year after having to watch not only Finnick fight for his life, but also Annie, all I can ever think about are the poor families whose hearts are aching with the raw remorse of watching their own children being slaughtered right in front of their eyes, & being completely powerless. Luckily for me, they both had come out alive & are still in my life, although I think I really hurt Finnick with my harsh words. That's one thing that I couldn't handle losing, another person in my life who I love. After losing my parents at such a young age, he was kind enough to lend us a hand, knowing how hard it was when his own mother had passed. He taught us both to fish, to swim, & to throw knifes & spears, just as his own father had shown him. He was a natural at it; he could take down any fish in the ocean that was spread around District 4. Eventually we all became so close, that I couldn't help myself but fall in love with him, & apparently neither could Annie. It wasn't even the fact that he is undeniably gorgeous; he's so kind & gentle & patient. Like today, we would always be arguing, but that's just what I knew. I was bossy as a child, & still am, since I knew I would have to take the mother role, being the oldest out of Annie & me. It was hard to survive on our own for a while, but his family took us in & cared for us, until Finnick's father was killed in a boating accident, but I still have my suspicions. Like Finnick, his father was brave & strong willed. He wanted to challenge authority & was tired of the way people were being treated. But he was too early, the rise of the rebellion is now, & I have a feeling that Finnick will be playing a strong part of it.

Soon the television flickered onto Caesar Flickerman, sporting his new ridiculous color of sparkly lavender suit, hair, & makeup. _Do these people even see how absurd they look? _I think to myself. I've seen people in the Capitol who dye their skin actual colors like bright orange or a hot pink. To me, it just seems like a waste of money & a pitiful cry for attention. Expecting to see President Snow take the screen, I was a little taken aback when Katniss Everdeen"s pictures appeared on my screen. Each shot was beautiful with stunning white gowns each more amazing than the next. After about the third one I finally realized that they were wedding dresses. Suddenly I feel embarrassed; I didn't even know she was getting married. I guess I was just a little too caught up in my own problems, like my own wedding plans. Only a few weeks ago did my 'boyfriend" propose to me in front a wide portion of the Capitol Government. The man I'm supposedly madly in love with, Audante Heavensbee. That's right, the son of the Head Gamemaker of this year's Hunger Games, Plutarch Heavensbee. They both sicken me, although they are both quite kind & opening, how could I possibly love & marry a man next in line to control the same torturous event that had damaged my sister mentally past the point of recovery? How could I look into his cold dark eyes everyday & expect to find the same strong & warming faith that I have in Finnick? Why should I have to suffer & watch as every year his father & eventually him, strategize the mortifying deaths so carefully, finding a new creative way to personalize every tribute's death in a sick way to entertain those who are too shallow & blind to see the darkness enclosing it all? It made me stomach queasy & my heart ache as I tried imagining myself walking down the long aisle & promising my love to him for as long as we both shall live, which would not be very long if the rebellion doesn't conquer the Capitol by the time he's elected Head Gamemaker.

It was only two years ago when my sister & I had travelled to the Capitol for the annual Victory Tour, where the new victor or victors visit at each District, & then the former tributes all meet in the Capitol for a big celebration. This was when Annie is always by far at her worst, shaking uncontrollably & would sometimes start randomly screaming & knocking things over. I guess it was because it reminded her of the Games, & how scarring it was for her. She tries so hard to block it out of her mind, like it never even happened, so we never talk about them. About what happened in the arena, who we think will turn out the victor this year, none of it. It's like her brain just shuts down whenever someone brings it up, & instead of being the sweet 20 year old girl she is, she transforms into a savage. That's why I always get to accompany her in the Victory Tours. Normally each victor is escorted by their mentor, escort, prep team, & stylist, which in her case is Finnick, but although he is very soothing with her, they need me for the real emergencies. I remember that night so vividly, Finnick & Annie swaying softly to the slow & classical music, wrapped in each other's arms. I was just standing there, watching them torn- I felt envy for my sister, happiness that they could finally be together in public, & jealous of the love they shared. I wanted love, to share a special dance with someone, to feel that sense of always being wanted & needed, to giggle & feed each other food playfully, & be in that moment where nothing else matters when your with that one person. Instead, I was stuck in this ridiculous life of chasing around my sister's boyfriend, resenting her for winning over Finnick & his love, & standing by the side watching. Watching her live the life I always wanted. Being with not only Finnick, but finally finding that one person in the world that was completely perfect for her. And I knew that I couldn't do a thing about it, because they were meant to be together, & I knew in a heartbeat that if it came down to it, he would choose her over me, & she would do the same. I guess I should be more careful for what I wish for because only seconds later, a tall & skinny man who looked about 24, only 4 years older than me, tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hello, I noticed you looking so lonely & thought that you needed a partner to dance with." He gave me a crooked smile as he was practically leaning over me in earnest. _Great, _I thought to myself, _it's noticeable. _I looked up at his pasty face & thought to myself: _Hey, why not? It couldn't get any worse than this._ And of course, it did. He was actually very quiet & refined, keeping to small talk & didn't even make an attempt with flirting with me once. This was almost annoying, actually. I was pretty enough to at least make an effort at, right? His talk was mainly boring, about things like new inventions & the Capitol's sights to see. This I mainly blocked out & instead sized him up. He wasn't exactly ugly- maybe a little awkward looking for his age. He had a full head of slicked back dark hair, which seemed to be the fashion with men in the Capitol. His eyes were the color of a dark navy blue, with faded maroon swirls, which sent a chill down my spine for it reminded me of swirled blood in a dark lake. I thought this to be the most bizarre thing, but discovered later that colored contacts were all the rage. He had a sharp chin & angular features, with thin eyebrows that matched his dark hair. I couldn't help but compare him to Finnick as we danced. They were complete opposites of each other- Audante had tall, thin, sloping shoulders that made it hard to grip, while Finnick's shoulders were wide & strong, & was the perfect height: not too short yet not too tall. Everything about them was differing. Their hair, their eyes, height, personality, even their smells were different. Finnick always smells like sea salt & the sunshine, while Audante smelled like soap. He felt stiff as we danced a good arm length apart. It wasn't until he mentioned his career path that I tuned in. He bragged to me that his father was a Gamemaker & that he was planning on doing the same when he was old enough. This snapped me back into the conversation. My wandering eyes darted to his, & we just stood there a moment, eyes locked onto each other. He smiled, thinking that I actually found this attractive, like this terrible, terrible occupation might have actually drawn me to him. Instead, it did the exact opposite. I wanted to spit in his face & kick him in the gut, watching him double over in shocked pain, feeling only seconds of the agony each child he was destined to murder would suffer. Maybe then he would realize how revolting his prided work actually is. Or maybe not. It didn't matter though because I was far too smart to try to pull anything like that, especially while standing in the Capitol's Justice building. Instead I just glanced over at Finnick & Annie, not wanting to play along with his little fantasy of me enjoying his company. Eventually the night ended & he was apparently rather fond of me, although he had a poor effort at expressing it. I, on the other hand, couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore. I was practically forced into another date with him, & about 7 more after, leading up to the day only a few weeks ago where he actually proposed, asking me for his hand in marriage. In a depressing, boring, & tasteless marriage. I feel like vomiting every time the thought comes to mind, but of course I said yes to him. I had no choice, & I still don't. See, one thing about the Capitol is that the upper classmen hold all the power. He, being the Head Gamemaker's son, knew that I could not decline him. Knew that if I did, then they would hunt me down & hang me in front of my whole District, or worse, take it out on all the innocent lives that enter the Hunger Games for District 4, making sure that I forever regret the day I refused his marriage offer. They could even put someone I know, that I love, into the Hunger Games if they wanted to. That's what happened to Finnick, he's convinced. That if it weren't for him refusing the Capitol, then Annie's name would never have been pulled out of that bowl. Well, whatever the Capitol has in store for me if I back down, then I will most certainly rue it. They made that clear when a Peacekeeper was sent to pass the message on. He barely had to say anything, I understood immediately, so I only made one deal with him. I would marry Audante Heavensbee & spend the rest of my life at his fingertips, as long as nothing happens to Annie. Reluctantly it was agreed, & so far they have kept that promise.

My attention is drawn back to the flashing television as the anthem begins to echo throughout the large mansion. An old & tired face that I grew up watching flashed onto the screen. The cameras zoomed out to reveal a large stage with none only than President Snow himself. Like everyone in Panem with even half a mind, I also loathed him. Everything about him: his appearance, his powerful voice, & everything he stands for, speaks evil. Even the small little boy in a crisp white suit standing behind him looks petrified with fear. I feel pity for him as he has to share that stage with the leader of this horrible nation & even carry his wooden box of wickedness. Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little too much, but no words could describe how much hatred I feel for this despicable man. He clears his throat & begins to speak of the Dark Days that took place 75 years ago. The days that our ancestors made the attempt at overthrowing the government, & now we must pay for their mistakes by taking part in the Hunger Games. It seemed so unfair, so cruel that now we must suffer, just because all they had wanted in life was freedom. Since it's the 3rd Quarter Quell this year, Snow goes through each of the twists to the two previous years of Quarter Quells. When he finally gets to the announcing of this year's gruesome fate, my heart is racing so fast I can hardly think straight. I quickly get up from the couch & across the large living room, trying to escape to the kitchen were I can retrieve a glass of water. I'm about to enter when I'm compelled to turn to the television, not able to draw my attention away. I see the boy walk up to him & open the small box & watch as the President fishes out the envelope with the gold ink written 75. Painstaking seconds pass as he slowly opens the envelope & begins to speak in a calm voice. "On the 75th anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male & female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

His words drag me on my knees & knock the wind painfully out of me. _The male & female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors… _These words drift around my mind sending my head spinning. What does this mean? Annie could be reaped once again. I allow myself to replay that awful memory in my head: She was only 16 years old, small in my used baby blue dress, her brown curly hair tangled as always, gracefully falling down her back, with a matching bow that I tied in for her each morning. I can still hear the woman's squeaky voice announcing for that year's female tribute, "Annie Cresta." My heart skipped a beat & I began to breathe rapid, shallow breaths. I wouldn't let them have her. Frantically I grabbed onto her hand & tried to pull her away, into the crowd of faces we both knew so well. But she only stood there, frozen like a statue. Everyone stepped back & formed an empty circle around her while the Peacekeepers shoved me to the ground, ripping my hand apart from hers. I remember screaming awful, terrible things at them, using all of the filthy words I could scrap up in my mind. All I can recall after that is feeling Finnick's strong arms around me & my world fading to black.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I could hear my heart beating heavy as I slowly lifted myself off of the cold floor. I looked over at Annie who was in the same spot as she was when I had left her. Frozen. This is what she did, what her mental disability caused her to do. She would just sit there, blank. She wouldn't look around, she wouldn't speak or eat. She just sits, lost in a distant land where no one could reach her. She could be like this for days, even weeks. I slowly walk over to her & treat her for shock, like I was taught to. Slowly I lay her out on the couch & prop her head with a pillow. I call for our maid to bring a warm towel & gently place it over her cold forehead. Tilting my head I look down at her & brush her hair out of her pale face, but she only stares up at me- not even at me but past me. She looks so… dead. Part of her brain shut down, & you'd think her body had too if it weren't for her deep breaths that give her away. I can feel my eyes beginning to well up with hot tears as I look down at her numb face.

It brings me back to the agonizing month that she was like this- after the Hunger Games. The first day home she had let me hug her as I wept & stroked her hair, but once I released her she stood there, with the same empty expression. I led her to her bed & where she just laid there for the rest of the day. It took me hours to coax food into her, salting most of them with my tears. I never cried over anything before she had been reaped; now from that day on I cry myself to sleep each night. She eventually overcame this with time & patience. I could only do so much for her: feed her & help her dress, & after that she began to walk down to the beach to just sit there the whole day until nightfall, where she would stare out to the sea. Finnick caught onto that & started to come every day for her. He would sit next to her & weave them a blanket which she still has, & build a fire to keep her warm. He was so persistent & patient that slowly, day by day, she gradually began to open up, like a flower blooming into her old self once again. But she's never been the same.

Suddenly a dark feeling of doom crashed down upon me. Finnick. He is the only male victor still living in District 4. He has no choice but to fight once again in the Games. How could I get her better again if he isn't even here for her? I look down at Annie. She must have realized this before going into shock. I wish so badly that I could join her. Well, clearly she could never go back into the Hunger Games like _this._ I would never let her. There is only one thing that I can do now.

It's snowing hard outside but I'm determined to break my way through this blur of whiteness. I stop & stare up at the large house standing before me. I swallow & bang my fist hard on the clean red door. It opens slightly & a little wrinkled face pokes out into the frost to greet me. At first Mags looks a bit ruffled, but her bright face breaks into a wide toothless grin as she recognizes me. She tugs at my arm & gestures me into her house. The door closes behind me & I'm surrounded by a wave of warm, welcoming me to sit & relax. Mags, still smiling, offers me a warm cup of tea which I gratefully accept & thank her. I begin to tell her my reason for coming when she seems to either not hear me or ignore me & instead waddles into the kitchen. She's so elderly, at least 75 -80 years old & she's around still walking without any support from a cane or walker. I can't decide if this makes it easier or harder for me to do what I came to do.

"So uh, Mags…" I begin as I plant myself onto one of her green kitchen chairs. "I'm sure you have heard about this year's Quarter Quell…" I swallow hard & try to calm myself down. _This is for Annie._ I think to myself. I wait for Mags to respond & continue as her small head bobs up & down. "And uh, as you know, Annie is… well she's sick, mentally ill." _Oh, I can't do this… _She looks so, small & so sweet. How can I possibly ask her to give up her own life just to save Annie? As I look up I see her staring at me, still grinning. How can she still be smiling? After everything she's been through… I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She comes to sit next to me & puts her hand on mine & nods. She knew what I was trying to ask her, & she was accepting it. She would take Annie's place in the 75th Annual Hunger Games. I feel the loss already. Mags had been one of the kindest people I have ever met. I remember she would stay with Annie when she was having a rough time on one of the Victory Tours when I had to run out for something. Always looking after her, comforting her, & now she was willing to sacrifice her life for her. And all I could offer in return was a last hug goodbye.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Months dragged on heavily like the thick snow on the pavement outside. It was so gray out, like the weather was feeling about as depressed as everyone in the District. No one wanted the victors to go- to be sentenced to their deaths. Finnick came over a few times, but only to check up on Annie. I had so many things to tell him, like how thankful I was to have him in my life, how grateful I was that he took care of Annie, & most importantly my true feelings for him. But I didn't. And now I've lost my chance since at this very moment he's on the Capitol train with Mags to face their fate - to go fight for their lives once again. I guess I just wished that maybe I would never have to tell him those things because there was still hope in him returning. That he would fight & kill & win like he did his first time in the arena. He could do it too; most of the tributes are old by now & could never be as swift as he is.

His only real competition was probably just Johanna Mason & Katniss Everdeen. Johanna was strong; I didn't even have to watch her dominant the Hunger Games to know that. I've met her in person before & one of the only tributes that I actually got along with, since she was the only girl my age. Her specialty is throwing axes, since she is after all from District 7, the Lumber District. While Johanna could take down anyone, even with her small figure, Katniss was just as deadly; or maybe even more. She had aim, speed & wit. She was swift & quiet; you wouldn't even know she was near until her arrow had shot right into your heart. She could also climb, & heal, which no one really how she learned all these crucial tactics; seeing she was only from District 12, the Coal District. Everyone in District 4 saw them as pretty much a joke considering how useless coal mining was in the Games compared to our Career training & resourceful surroundings. We were all put in our place though, after the famous Katniss Everdeen dominated last year, taking her fiancé, Peeta, with her as the first two people in history to both be victors in the same Hunger Games. That is a completely difficult & long story, though.

Each long & dreaded night I dream up the 75th Hunger Games: the first 18 being slaughtered by the remaining 5 - Finnick, Mags, Johanna, Peeta, & Katniss in the first few terrifying days. The next is always them all hunting each other down. Finnick & Mags walking through the jungle at a reasonable pace; Peeta & Katniss through the dirt & mud navigating through & plotting their kills; & then Johanna, running fast & determined up hills & mountains, fierce & bloodthirsty. I don't know why I always dream Johanna alone, I guess because she just isn't a protective person like Finnick & Katniss. Eventually they all reach each other - usually at the same time. Sometimes Katniss pounces on Finnick & slits his throat, while Peeta rings Mags' neck. Johanna usually charges through the vines by then & slices Peeta's stomach open; spilling his blood & organs on the jungle floor, or dirt. With one quick & effortless movement Katniss shoots an arrow through Johanna's head, in fury & remorse for Peeta. That's usually how my mind plays it: sometimes Finnick wins, or Johanna, & the worst is when Mags is left alone with everyone else killed in a pool of their blood, cackling in hysteria. She then returns home to finish me off for asking her to suffer through all of it. She knocks at my door, & foolishly I open it, not knowing her intentions. I see her same toothless grin but with an insane twist at the ends. I stand with the door wide open as she shuffles towards me, her slow frail legs inching closer with her wrinkled bony arms outstretched. As always, I see it as a hug, as a cry out for comfort, so I let her wrap her arms around me, but instead she reaches for my throat & tightly grips it, cutting my supply of oxygen off & leaving me gasping for air like a fish out of water. I try to shake her off, try to plead, try to apologize, but nothing comes out. She only stares with her sunken eyes & crazy smirk. That's when I jolted awake in a cold sweat.

As if my life wasn't messed up enough already dealing with Annie & my own love life, now I have to sit & wait as my own soon-to-be father in law plans the sick & twisted ending of my best friend. I sometimes get lost in my own imaginary world without the Hunger Games, without hatred & restrictions & food for everyone- & the only murder would be a single one. The hanging of President Snow. I know that it will never happen, though.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Today is the day. It took hours of staring at the empty ceiling for me to finally slink out of bed & into the cold house. When I came out though, I was surprised to smell a wonderful breakfast cooking. Bacon & frying potatoes taunted my growling stomach as I entered, shocked to see Annie hard at work. After standing in the doorway gawking at her for a minute, she looks over her shoulder & smiles. "Hey sleepy head! I decided to cook some breakfast." I rub my eyes & look again. She was still standing in front of the large stove. I didn't even know she knew how to turn it on, let alone cook. She was always running around the District on average days- buying supplies, swimming, exercising, weaving, those sorts of things, but I have never seen her pick up a pan before.

"Uh, where did you learn to cook?" I questioned, unsure if I should risk eating it in case she had absolutely no idea what she was doing.

"Oh Trinity showed me, I've been getting up early every morning with her so I could learn new recipes." She grinned & placed the food on our large kitchen table, which was frankly much too big for only the two of us. Trinity was our kind & ambitious house maid who had the house spotless by the time I wake up & is out the door around 2 in the afternoon. We absolutely adore her, though I'm not sure she feels the same about us considering we were so lazy & forgetful. I shrugged & sat down to eat the sizzling bacon & hash browns.

It's been weeks since I've actually paid any attention to anything but my own wedding: picking out food, tables, plates, & invitations, I feel like I haven't even been in the real world until today. I've been a mess all week dreading this very day. Today is the day of the 75th Annual Hunger Games. As if that wasn't enough for me to deal with, in only 2 days I'll be walking down the aisle to the face my dreaded future. Nightmares keep me with little sleep, & when I wake up they're a reality. My wedding, the Hunger Games, they're all haunting me both when I awaken & when I slumber. At least Annie found a way to occupy herself.

Eventually 9 o'clock came around, & Annie & I sat in front of our television like we did each year. There was a flash & the TV glowed to life. First was a slide show of each victor's picture & information. Outside I could hear the loud booming from the giant television in the square. Everyone stood to watch if they don't own one like we do. You wouldn't believe how thankful I am not to be one of those people, not again, watching in horror while having everyone around stop to stare as I break down sobbing. That has happened too many times already. After 24 painstaking faces lingered fresh in mind, the arena was on the screen. The camera circled around scanning mountains, an ocean, & a deep, tangled jungle. Just like the one from my nightmares. In the ocean is a circle of floating discs, 24 of them, each with a victor standing tall. I felt Annie's cold hand grasp onto mine, & I held on tight. I knew how hard this was for her- not only being reminded of the ocean in the Games once again, but watching Finnick fight. But this was good, the odds were in his favor, obviously he was the best swimmer since he grew up here, in District 4. With that said, he was the first one off to dive in the deep sea. He was fast, but Katniss dove in almost just as quick. He swam with force, but she swam with grace, catching up to him close. How could that even be possible? She's from District 12! The camera scans around the circle to all the other victors looking rather pathetic, who haven't even jumped in yet. Skimming back showed Finnick & Katniss at the Gold Cornucopia which is surrounded by a strip of sandy beach that lead off into the unknown jungle. They both scavenge for weapons, & I notice that there isn't any food. Just after I say that Katniss happens to whisper the same, you can see the worry wrinkles her forehead. In the Hunger Games food can be just as vital as weapons, if not then possibly more. Who knew what was safe to eat & what not to eat? It seems that every year someone dies from eating something poisonous, like last year when a red headed girl foolishly ate the poisonous berries, & Katniss cleverly used them later as a weapon against the Capital.

I hear a gasp of delight from shaking Annie as Finnick swiftly grabs a trident off of the top of the pile, holding it up to shine in the sun. With only that weapon he could win the whole Game. It was definitely his strongest resource other than swimming. Only moments after we see a shining bow in Katniss' hand & a bundle of arrows slung over her shoulder. The small hope in me dies as I realize she could take him out faster with a bow then him with his trident. They must have planted everyone's favorable weapon in the pile so they each had a winning shot.

Finnick's next move was more shocking to me than if he had killed her on the spot- he joined her as an ally. He then swam out & grabbed Peeta, who apparently doesn't know how to swim; & Mags, which I was grateful to see, but realize is risky move. She would only slow him down & surely be dead without the first day or two, which I hate saying. Still, Finnick slung her thin body onto his back & hauled her to shore, just as he had Peeta only minutes ago. But why would Finnick protect Mags & possibly risk his life? Katniss could have shot him down right then if she wanted to- & you know she definitely thought about it. He could always team up with Johanna, the smarter alliance, or just stick with Katniss, hoping she won't turn against him so early in the Games. It would have been so easy for him to just leave her, or even wait for her to float to the shore. But for some reason I knew he wouldn't. He would take care of Mags. Suddenly I knew the reason why- why he would risk his own chance of life for Mags, because of the same reason I would. Because she saved Annie.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The minutes that pass feel like aching hours. Here I am, staring at a screen filled with so many images, so many moments that I could save in my mind of Finnick, the last of him I'll probably see. But my mind is just blank. The screen is just flashing by in a blur. Next to me I feel Annie's hand still gasping mine. Like me, neither of us had moved an inch since the television switched on. Trying to focus in of what's going on, I see Finnick, carrying Mags, with Katniss & Peeta ahead of them. They continue to walk through the tangled vines until the camera catches a look on Katniss's face. She freezes - her face distorted with alarm. Her lips part & she's about to call a warning but it's too late. A loud pop explodes & Peeta's muscular body is thrown onto the jungle floor. Annie jumps & I feel her cold hand tense. My heart flutters & begins to pound as I watch Peeta's unmoving figure sprawled on the ground. I have no idea why – maybe it's because I know after that kind of electrocution there's no way anyone's heart could handle that. Immediately I see Finnick crouch to his side & hold his nose shut.

"No!" Katniss screams & tries to tear Finnick away from Peeta's lifeless body. _No! You stupid girl, he's saving him! _I think to myself. She must not know what CPR is, because what Finnick was smartly trying to accomplish is restart Peeta's non beating heart. He calmly pushes her away & begins to pinch his nose once again, when Katniss starts hitting Finnick, trying to get him away. With one simple swipe Finnick sends a blow to her stomach which knocks the breath from her & lands her on the ground. My eyebrows raise in surprise, but it was a smart move if he was going to have any chance at saving his life.

Once again Finnick is on his knees kneeling next to him with his slim fingers blocking any airway through his nose. He pumps his chest three times & brings his mouth to his, pushing oxygen into his lungs. Suddenly Annie rips her hand from mine & stands on her feet sobbing fiercely.

"No! No!"She sobs, hands pressing hard on her temples & eyes shut tightly. I quickly stumble on my feet & grab her by the wrists. If she applies too much pressure to her head she could hurt herself even further. I tightly grasp her bony wrists while she whips them around wildly, trying to break my grip. But I don't let go which makes her more upset. I know which terrible memory is slashing through her mind, because it's the same that has haunted me for 14 years. When I was just a child, I saw my father die before my eyes.

I remember it well – but not as vivid as Annie's damaged mind replays it for her. We heard shouting from outside & a bang on the front door. Standing there was little Finnick, his blonde hair tousled as usual. But his face was hysterical & alerted. "Hurry! Come quick, it's your dad!" He shouted & ran towards the ocean; both of us close on his heels. When we reached the beach I remember seeing two people: Finnick's father, & my father. There he lay, lifeless &washed out as I reached them. I remember seeing Finnick's dad pounding his hands over his heart, over & over again. I screamed & fought- the same way Katniss was fighting. That desperation & panic when you think someone you love is dying & the other person is cutting off every way of survival. Seeing Finnick, who has grown to greatly resemble his father, performing CPR on Peeta must have pulled this memory into her mind.

"Annie! Annie! Look at me, look at my eyes. "I intertwine my finger through hers & search for any sign of recognition in her crazed eyes. "It's me, Narielle. Listen to me Annie, listen to my voice." I soothe. She stops & listens as I repeat what I always do for her. It's a poem that my father had always recited to us, & always calms her down. I pull her back into reality & send her up to bed to rest.

I turn back to the television, curious to see what I have been missing. For some reason, Katniss was ahead of the line, throwing some sort of nut in front of her. It pops a few feet ahead of her & shoots back, charred & sizzling. Oh, from the force field. I see Mags picking up one of the nuts & gleefully popping it into her mouth. I smile, thankful to see her still being her bubbly, happy self. Trailing limply behind her is a beaten down Peeta, (I'm guessing Finnick was successful), with Finnick guarding the back of the line.

I watched endlessly as all the tributes swam & walked & ran & slaughtered. Johanna was playing just as determined as expected, but surprisingly teamed up with Beetee & Wiress: The two strange & a bit lost duo that were kind of the outcasts of the game considering they weren't nearly as fast or strong as the rest. The only reason either had won the Games in the past was purely because they were both insanely smart. But this didn't seem like anything that would interest Johanna. That's why she decided to find Finnick & the others.

Meanwhile, the camera flashes back to Finnick, Mags, Katniss & Peeta hiking through the dense rainforest. They stop to make camp, trying to rest enough for Peeta to regain a portion of strength. Mags & Finnick sit around & weaving a roof & bowl while Katniss looks for some source of water to quench their dehydration - leaving Peeta to catch some sleep. She comes back with only some furry rat creature & explains how it has a wet muzzle. A few minutes later a small package floats down to reveal a little object. I have no idea what it is, but can only assume it will help them find water. Sure enough, it taps into a tree & produces a clean & steady stream of water. My focus goes in out watching, growing tired of the watching the frustration & pain of these people I'm familiar with. I think I've met at least all of them once – besides Katniss & Peeta.

It grows dark in the arena & the images of each dead victor pass on the night sky. It makes me so sad, thinking how terrible it all is. Mags' face says the exact same, her eyes drooping with mourn. She must have been so close to most of those people – met each one & spent so much time & effort getting to know them, only to watch as they each get killed, day by day. Now Mags' sad face leaves the screen & is replaced with Peeta & Katniss sitting side by side. They talk about how much they care deeply about one another & what not, which I personally find a little overkill. Some people think it's so romantic, but I think it's only cruel. But then I see them kiss. It's not any kiss either, it's passionate & real & soft. It's completely the opposite of everything struggling around them. I think of how much she must love him, & how she said yes to his proposal - not forced, not threatened, not full of regret like mine is. I close my eyes & picture me actually wanting to be with Audante, but it's not him I'm picturing, It's a man completely opposite. He's gentle, handsome & kind, but strong. He loves me & will do anything to protect me. And for once in my life I don't imagine Finnick or Audante standing there. He's a complete stranger, but somehow I know exactly who he is in every way. I look back at the screen at Katniss & Peeta still wrapped in each other's arms. Somehow they have found love in this hopeless place.

]]


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I wake up shaking in a cold sweat on my living room couch. Weird, I don't even recall coming up onto it, last thing I remember is being on the floor watching the Games… Pulling the blanket off of me & slipping into the kitchen I see Annie sitting there with a cup in her hand & her gaze lost out the window. I quietly take the seat next her & begin to speak. "How are you feeling?" I know how hard this is for her; it's only the worst pain to know that the one person you love more than anything is basically fighting for their lives, & all you can do is hope that the odds are ever in their favor.

"Terrible." She answers simply, eyes still fixed ahead. "You know what's worse than all of this? Worse than the Games? Not only am I losing Finnick, but I'm losing you too." Turning her head to stare back at me with sad, deep green eyes.

At first I'm confused- I'm not going anywhere. But then reality slashes me & I remember. I am to be wed tomorrow. As I fail at hiding the disappointment & my voice croaks, "You will never lose me. I will always be with you no matter what." I take her dark curls in my hand & kiss her on the forehead like I used to when she was only four years old. She's grown so much- we both have, but it still feels like we're back together as only children. All alone, fighting against the odds just to survive.

I barley touch my breakfast because now I'm feeling too troubled to choke anything down. In just less than 24 hours I would be Mrs. Narielle Audante Heavensbee, doomed to a life of emptiness, hatred, & sorrow. But isn't that my life already? There are only two people on the planet that I actually care about, so why should it matter if I'm just living in a new place with another person just to keep them safe? That doesn't really help comfort me. I sit on the fluffy white sofa & wrap my blanket back around my shoulders. The TV comes to life & a grinning Caesar Flickerman cheerfully gives us the updates on the Games. The whole thing made me rot inside- how unpleasantly glad he was to announce this, how people in the Capitol actual cheer when he announces the current deaths, & worst of all when he speaks Finnick's name, how wrong it sounds coming from his thin & prepped lips.

They catch us up on the latest action: Lightening in only one section of the arena which kills only one. "It must be some kind of clock, or something of the sorts." Caesar points out, which sends so many possibilities up in the air. What could they do with some sort of clock arena? Well from what I can tell, it means out running every deadly event the Gamekeepers sic upon them. The cameras flash to present time, where a sleepy Finnick trades shifts with a wild looking Katniss. She looks so stressed, so focused, yet so tired. It must be because of the baby. I wonder if she really is pregnant, but even if she is she can't be much longer. In her condition, that baby will be killed in a matter of hours if it isn't already. This just proves another point of how sickening the Capitol truly is.

While Katniss is staring out into the empty jungle, she quickly notices a thick fog crawling towards her & the other sleeping three. She jumps swiftly to her feet & shakes them all awake. They all awake startled & immediately a small Mags hops onto the back of Finnick who begins to charge through the vines. Because of his previous injuries, Katniss is left dragging Peeta through the carpeted rain forest trying desperately to outrun the eerie mist. Over & over again Peeta stumbles & falls, Katniss begging him to keep going, to not lose hope, but you can tell that he's slipping fast. They begin to slow & the places the fog touched them is now sagging lamely, resembling a melting candle. Half of Peeta's face drooping down in a disgusting manner that made me want to turn away- but I can't. I have to know if they will survive. If Finnick & Mags make it through the jungle. After a couple of painful minutes, Finnick stops & asks if Katniss wanted to trade him. Reluctantly she agrees, although you can tell on her face that she hates getting his help. Finnick pulls a tired Peeta onto his back, with Mags riding on Katniss. They try once again to outrun the fog, but it's no use. Katniss's leg has now been affected by the oozy smog & has turned it into a spastic limb, uncontrollable & tripping her with every step. At this pace, there is no way she can make it out of that wall of thick haze.

A feeling of dread overcomes me as the four stop & try to work it out. There's no way that Finnick can carry both at the same time & there's no way that neither Peeta nor Mags can outrun it on their own. At last Mags takes a step forward & kisses Finnick goodbye. My heart drops as she simply walks straight into the deadly vapor, without a glance back. She never asked for anything in return. No reward or gift, she just said yes. Yes to saving Annie. Yes to going back to the awful Hunger Games, Yes to saving Peeta, Katniss & Finnick. Nothing in return, just her dead twitching body left on the jungle floor.

The three continue hiking through the green mass, & eventually collapse on the beach next to the ocean. Katniss is the first to test out the water, & remarkably it helps regain her strength & tightens her sagging skin. She welcomes the boys in too, but only Peeta wades in with her. _Do it Finnick, it will help you._ I will him in my mind. Why isn't he? Doesn't he realize it will save him? Once Katniss & Peeta finish bathing in the clear salt water, they both take Finnick & slowly dip him into the water, helping to cure him of the poisonous mist. Eventually he recovers his strength & they wander into the jungle vines once again.

When Peeta leaves to retrieve fresh water from a tree, Katniss & Finnick find themselves suddenly surrounded by a large group of monkeys. I haven't really seen a monkey before, yet somehow I know what they look like. _Stop Peeta, don't move._ Katniss tries to signal him, but instead the monkeys begin to pounce over & over. Katniss swiftly shoots multiple bodies with her arrows, striking several through the heart, others through the eye, & a few in the skull. Finnick slaughters a good amount also with his trident & Peeta with his knife, but still they keep multiplying. The camera focuses on a single monkey, gliding effortlessly through the vines & soars through the air straight for Peeta. The moment seems to be slowed down, & I know in my gut that could end him, that single flying monkey with barred teeth & outstretched claws. Peeta is busy stabbing another monkey to notice, & Katniss has noticed much too late. But out of nowhere a skinny body flies between them, her large eyes blindly taking the bite, her arms open wide almost to welcome the beast to feast upon her flesh, & that's exactly what it does.

Suddenly I hear a loud ringing from the kitchen & realize it's the phone. I hear Trinity call for me as the monkeys are called off the four victors. I slowly stand & walk into the kitchen, dreading the news I know I'm going to be hearing.

"He wants to talk with you." Only 6 simple words & I know exactly what is going on.

"Hello?" I say calmly into the telephone.

"Hello, Narielle. This is Audante. We will be sending the hovercraft in a few minutes; will you be prepared by the time it arrives?" He spoke so formally that it made me want to cry. Doesn't he contain any ounce of human emotion? How can I possibly spend my life with him if we can't even have a normal conversation?

I clear my throat & reply in an even tone, "Yes. I will be ready."

"Great, I will see you when you arrive in the Capitol." He confirms & hangs up the phone. I can feel the tears begin to swell as I try pushing them back but fail. I don't want to live in the Capitol. Not with him, not today, not tomorrow or any time after. I don't want to marry him & leave behind my sister. I don't want to be another fake & crazy Capitol citizen who can't think but must be told what to do. But I must, & I will. For Annie's sake.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

As I run up with spiral staircase I can feel my heart racing as fast as my mind._ I don't want to leave. I don't want leave_. My head chants as I burst through my door & throw things into my bag. _I don't want to leave District 4. _I actually like it here- it's my home. Not the Capitol. Not as Audante's wife. Blindly I throw the clothes from my closet into a shiny suitcase I had delivered as a gift from him. It doesn't matter what clothes I bring or leave. I'm sure he'll buy me a whole new wardrobe of ridiculous outfits because these old & worn articles will only embarrass him. I don't care though. I was never that big on fashion, I know I will be miserable with him no matter what.

I collapse on the bed trying to calm myself, but not much is helping. My wedding is tomorrow, & I'm sure by then Finnick will be dead. My sister lonely & depressed, with no shoulder to cry on. I'll make sure they let her visit often- especially when she's having a rough time. At least she'll be there, to help me through it all at the wedding. She'll be in the front row sitting in front of me, smiling. Reassuring me that everything will be alright. I flip over onto my back & stare at the high ceiling. None of the riches really matter to me. I mean, it's a lot better than living in our tiny shack we had only a couple of years ago. I'll miss it, because it was a home to me, but it's not something to cry over. My giant bedroom feels even bigger without my clothes, hungry for something to fill it. Realizing the time I jump back onto my feet & pick up a last few items. My hairbrush & comb, notebook & pen, picture of my family, & my spear… There it lies. Gleaming under the dresser tucked away behind a simple basket. I've spent so many hours with my spear, & have to admit I did pretty well with it. I could strike a fish clean through the silky water. I could aim it straight through the heart of a tree. I can't kill any real animals though, once I got a small squirrel but I just felt guilty afterwards & buried it deep below the soil. I want to take it, but I know that it won't need it. I'll be well fed there, healthy & clean. No use for a spear where there's no fish & they mistake it for a weapon to murder someone. So instead I just walk away from it, leaving it lying low, something to mark my place in this house.

As I slowly walk down the steps I try taking pictures of everything in my mind. The high chandelier over the dark dining table, the clean white living room with its fluffy carpet & sofa, & the wide kitchen surrounded by light seeping through wide windows. A heavy knock on the door tells me my pickup has arrived & I take my time to the door.

"Hello, you're Narielle Cresta?" A tall Capitol worker asks, his expression cold which would usually make me uneasy, but today I'm out of feelings for anything.

"Yes, you can step inside while I say my goodbyes." I open the door widely for him to walk in but he instead holds up a hand to refuse.

"No thank you, but I could take your luggage…" He begins reaching for my suitcase & I quickly jerk away,

"No!" I snap & the look on his face is priceless. His expression is terrified. He must have heard about Annie & how she's crazy, & how I'm following close behind her. I give him a little grin just to scare him more & decide I might as well have a little fun. "I would like to hold onto it. But what exactly did Audante tell you to do here?" I give him a cold look to try to scare it out of him.

He gives me the answer I was expecting, "He said that I was to escort you to the hovercraft out of harm's way." The professional look he was wearing earlier now stuck back to his face. I knew it, out of harm's way basically means that if anyone lays a finger on me then they would have the Head Gamemaker & his son out to get him. I could take all the time in the world, & this guy couldn't hustle me out of here if he tried, or else I would cry back to Audante on how he bruised me on the day before my wedding. "Right," I answer shortly. "Well, I'll just say goodbye to my sister & friend & then we'll be on our way." I spin around before he can object & walk over to Annie, eyes glued on the screen.

I kneel in front of her & take her by the shoulders. Her deep green eyes are blank & motionless. "Annie," I whisper, trying to capture her attention. Slowly she moves her focus to me & I smile. She returns it & I know she's listening. "I need you to stay strong, alright? I'll see you tomorrow all dressed up." I give her a long hug, & look back at her reassuring. _I will see her tomorrow. Everything will turn out fine._ I tell myself, & then get up off of the floor. "Trinity?" I call out as I walk to the kitchen.

A tired, middle aged woman walks out with a duster in hand. "Yes, Narielle?" She asks, even though she knows very well what's happening.

"Thank you so much for everything." I embrace her & truly mean it. Without her we would be two lost girls, & probably burn down the place within the first year. "Will you take care of her when I'm gone?" I ask her seriously, searching her light eyes.

"Of course." She comforts me, taking my face in her palm. I didn't feel like crying until I realized there was someone I still wanted to say goodbye to. Someone who I would probably never see again. One of my only friends on this planet. A tear swells in my eyes & Trinity does the motherly thing to do- she takes me back in her arms & strokes my long brown hair. "He'll come back." She whispers in my ear. "I know he will."

The ride to the Capitol is extremely awkward. I'm sitting in a metal chair across from this big man in his Capitol suit. Now I feel so numb, & try to think of anything that could keep me from bursting into tears. I'm awaiting my fate of Mrs. Narielle Heavensbee. Only tomorrow will I be walking down that dreaded aisle, my fiancé who smells like soap & dusty books standing on the other side. Trying to push the thought back I think of something, anything that can take my mind away from it all. Immediately I think of Annie at home, & what she must be doing now. A sharp image of her screaming & throwing things appears in my mind. Finnick just being murdered in front of her eyes. She's hysterical- cutting herself on broken glass, ripping out her hair, slapping Trinity as she tries to calm her. I forgot- I never told her how to calm Annie. I'm the only person who can, besides Finnick. But if Finnick's dead…

Tears begin to drop & I start to panic. _No, you can't do this. Not now. _I tell myself, but it's too late. Suddenly the image of my sister breaking down pushes me off my seat.

"I need to go back!" I scream at the man. "She needs me! I can't leave her!" I start to pound on the sealed doors, feeling like a mouse trapped in a tall box. "Please!" I sob, "She needs me!" It feels like there's something inside of me that's crushing my lungs, my body, & my head is ready to explode. The man wildly jumps around like an idiot, having no clue what to do. _Just turn around! Go back to my house! _I scream in my head, but suddenly an annoying sting is biting at my arm. I look down to see a sharp needle jammed into it & I questionably look to the man. He looks relieved as my eyelids start to feel very heavy… & the world starts to darken around the edges. "I need to… go back…" I breathe, & then fall back into my seat- the world spiraling to black.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When I finally come around I find myself in a tiny hospital room. _What am I doing here?_ Little tubes tug on my arm & when I sit up there's a rushing through my head that makes me nearly lose my balance. My door is slightly ajar so I can see down the hallway a man in a white doctor's coat. I've never seen any place this… well, this clean. Everything is so shiny & new that it makes me feel out of place, like a dusty shoe in a sparkling, bright closet. I must have arrived in the Capitol.

I quickly wave down the man passing & luckily he sees me. "She's awake!" He calls over his shoulder & practically runs over to me. When he nears I see that his face is dripping with sweat. His thin grins seem crazed, & I jerk back as he tries to examine my arm.

"Let me see her." A voice snaps. It's Audante's voice. He pushes the man aside & leans over me. "Are you hurt? Did anyone in that hovercraft touch you?" His anger was starting to scare me.

"Umm.. n- no…" I answer shakily. I've never seen him this way- so angered & vicious. Maybe since he's at home now, in the Capitol, & knows I can't back out of our marriage now.

"Good." He nods quickly. "Wouldn't want you all bruised up for the wedding, now would we?" He makes a very stern face at the shaking doctor & walks out the door.

A shiver runs through me as I watch him waltz out. "Ri- right. Well uh, I ran some tests & you seem uh, fine. They need you upstairs for some prepping for the big day tomorrow so uh, I'll just remove those." His ice cold hands yank out the clear tubes from my skin & now my head is really spinning. What did that man on the hovercraft inject in me, & why is everyone acting so strange? I thank him while he leaves & change into some clothes waiting by the chair next to me.

Cautiously I step out into the open halls. When I pass by I hear hysterical cries echo throughout the tiny rooms & I slowly realize where I am. I'm in the Psychiatric Unit. The hospital for all the crazy & mentally sick. My episode in the hovercraft must have placed me a new room in here. Eventually I find the elevator & rise onto the second floor. Of course, there's someone waiting for me.

"Hi!" I cheerful woman greets me, waving a hand with practically claws on the end of each thin finger. She has wild hair that is swirled pink & purple, bouncing around on the side of her head. "I'm Cadence!" She tries shuffling me to the end of the room, but I'm reluctant to go. My heels dragging as she gives me a harder push. "Come… on.." She grunts putting her strength into it. Wow, is she persist or what. I finally let her drag me into a fluffy green chair. "Okay! Aha, you have quiet the personality don't you!" She wags her finger at me & giggles happily.

"I haven't even said anything yet." I answer miserably. This is going to be torture.

"Of course, well uh, this is Elicit." She reaches a light hand onto the shoulder of a very thin & mousey girl. Her hair is stick straight with blunt bangs shimmering metallic silver. Her big eyes look to me then back to Cadence, & shyly she waves at me. I wave back slowly, unsure of what to say. I barely know what's going on, or what even happened, but I seriously doubt that either of these two would know.

"Alright! Well we're just going to uh, make you over for the big day tomorrow!" Cadence squeals & rushes towards me, grabbing me by the wrists & dragging me to my feet. I can't tell whether it's the drugs stirring through my bloodstream, the fact that I never wanted to go through with any of this, or just Cadence's annoying enthusiasm for everything, that I'm feeling absolutely exhausted. They spend about half an hour bathing me in this bathtub, scrubbing every inch of my body with weird colored soaps & smelly creams. Really I've never been shy about my body so it isn't too weird having these two strangers bathe me, but I'm more to the point where I just don't care anymore.

Once my hair has been soaked, shampooed, & combed, & a fluffy towel is wrapped around my clean shoulders, Cadence rushes out of the room to grab my evening gown for tonight's dinner. This leaves me & Elicit alone in silence. I keep the fuzzy bath towel tightly wound around me & look at Elicit. She was a very strange looking girl- very skinny & pale. Her thick eyelashes fan over her rosy cheeks like a butterfly resting on a flower. It wasn't until she began looking around that I realized I was intensely staring at her & it was making her extremely uncomfortable. She looked so nervous around me, like I was a crazed flesh eating monster. I quickly consider my options: one, make her like me by being kind & starting a friendly conversation. Two, continue to stare until the annoying one gets back. Or three, enjoy the few hours left of my freedom & totally freak her out. Well, it had been a long time since I've had a good laugh.

"I'm really talented in hairdressing." I bluntly told the girl. She glances over at me & smiles tightly.

"That's nice." I continued to stare, & so she quickly dropped her gaze.

"I can do your hair, if you like. Just a quick hairdo or something." I say loud & plain. She looks at me & gives me a queasy smile.

"Umm.."

"Just sit in the chair, right there." I point towards the chair.

"Oh, uh, okay.' Her voice was tiny & squeaky, but she obeys & slides into the chair.

"Okay. Wait right here while I find a comb & hair bands." I run over to the table in the bathroom where they had scrubbed me clean, & jumbled through all of the cosmetics. To be honest, I have never seen any of these before & know nothing about hairstyling, but it felt like a good day to learn. Just as I grab a sparkly comb my towel decided to flop to the ground. Quickly I curse under my breath & search wildly for something to hold it up. I spot a shiny clip & snap it to the towel, securing it into place. I run back over to the chair at Elicit. "Got it!" I shout & walk over to her.

When I approach her I can tell she's frightened- her eyes wide & nails sunk deeply into the chair. "Just relax." I tell her as I take the shiny & silvery hair into my rough fingers. I take the comb & begin to run it through her hair. "Ah, you know this is really a beautiful color." I compliment her, making sure she's feeling comfortable.

"Oh thank you." She smiles.

"Did you know that I live in District 4?" I say smoothly.

"Oh, yeah! Aha." She giggles, already beginning to relax.

"Yeah, this silver reminds me of all of the fish I've caught over the years." I smile to myself.

"Er, oh, ha ha." I can tell that comparing fish to her hair disgusted her.

"Ha. Well you know, I have this big strong spear that I use to fish with." I begin to ease closer to her, & I can tell by mentioning a weapon she has become stiff.

"I use this really big, machete knife to sharpen it, making sure its point can slice through any flesh." I continue combing through her soft hair. "You wanna know how I kill the fish?" I wait a second for her to reply but nothing comes out but a tiny squeak. "Well, first I wade into the water so stealthy, that no living creature can tell I'm there. I usually use a little bit of worm blood to spread across the surface of the calm waters, to draw in the hungriest of the fish. Soon enough they smell it & begin swimming towards the blood, & sometimes I'll even let the worm dangle a little for them." I inch closer to her ear, & begin to talking slow & suspenseful. "Then, right when I see the fish gaze up at me, I look down into its brainless eyes & spear it right through its flesh, its bone, & finally through its tiny, little heart. And then you know what I do. I take it home & slice it open, spilling its guts everywhere. And then… I CHOP OFF ITS HEAD." I yell loudly next to her ear, just as the door flings open & Elicit jumps, shrieking loudly. Cadence stands shocked in the doorway, holding my wedding gown up into the air. I do my best to conceal my wide grin, but Cadence just gives me a guilty look.

"Goodness!" Elicit shrieks & jumps quickly from the chair, counting each strand on her head as if I had ripped it out.

I stifle another laugh, turning my head as Cadence shoots me sharp looks. "What is going on in here?" She demands in her shrill voice. Looking back at Elicit I see her animated eyes are darting around, chest heaving rapidly. "Look. We know that you don't want to marry him. We know you have had a rough life & that you have a hard time handling yourself. But you have no choice, & taking it out on us will not change anything!"

My eyes open widely in shock as I hear the words spilling from her mouth. How did they know I don't love him? Am I really that see- through, that predictable? And 'can't handle myself' they must be referring to my state of mind. It has never been that I can't handle myself; I just can't handle what happens around me. The fact that I have no control over anything- that one moment I can be sitting quietly with my young & beautiful sister, & the next she is dragged away from me, & thrown into a terrible mess of torture. I can handle myself just fine- it's these awful things I have a hard time handling.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I awoke with a frightening dream. It wasn't exactly frightening though, it almost felt like it was planted inside my brain. Like everything I've been fighting against, this strange dream was telling me to do. As if I had everything backwards this whole time, & was fighting against the current, when I should have floated along instead.

It began with me in my crisp, white wedding dress. I was walking down the aisle, the same aisle I have been dreading & today will be again walking upon. In this dream I had the same feeling I do today. A queasy, apprehensive feeling in the pit of my stomach. Except that in this dream I was blind- everything was black. I stumbled down past the hard, wooden pews banging my legs & knees on each one, desperately trying to find an exit. I tried to call out, but my mouth was dry & hoarse, my tongue like sandpaper, so that I could no longer speak. Now I was hopelessly lost. I had no idea what was up, what was down, & I could feel my sanity quickly slipping. Suddenly I felt hands, many hands on my body, pushing & pulling & tugging me along. And they whispered: _Go. Go._

But I knew where they wanted me to go- the very place I didn't want to go. They wanted me to go to my fiancé, to my marriage, to my future. They kept whispering louder, & louder & louder. Finally I gave up. I could not scream. I could not tell them no. All I could do was trust them still blind & terrified. Until suddenly I was no longer scared, because I saw light, & I saw her. There she was at the end of the aisle, Katniss Everdeen. She was wearing her gold, flowing wedding dress. Her hair was braided to the side, & she looked so angelic that I thought she might be an angel, that she had not survived these awful Games. Slowly she raised her bow & arrow, pointing its sharp steadily, & then turned slowly towards Audante. For a moment I was pleased, like someone was finally on my side. But then I was frightened _for_ him, I knew that I didn't want him dead, just not my husband. Her steady hand slid past him though, & landed square instead on his father, Plutarch Heavensbee. He stood tall & unblinking, as though he had prepared for this moment. Her tan, thin arm pulled back generously, guaranteeing a clean, smooth, & quick kill. Then, without a blink, she took one last swipe to the right, & abruptly her perfect, golden arrow was lodged deep within my heart.


End file.
